@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · 1d ago

Why?

Just because someone is disabled, it doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed to drive. But in this case...

#Seattle

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0

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · 2d ago

I've seen some bad parking in my life, but holy fuck. #Seattle needs a parking enforcement Batman to beat these idiots into Arkham Asylum.

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2

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · 3d ago

#Bellevue and some mountains from #CapitalHill. #Seattle

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · 4d ago

Today was a fun nerdy day. Just ran a lot of updates. And I took a nap. But then the dragons started making noise, so now I guess I'll watch TV.

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · 5d ago

I'm a big fan of compromise. As long as I get everything I want and don't have to give anything up.

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · 6d ago

This is absolutely a trap.

#CatsOfMastodon #BalerionTheDread

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Mar 12, 2026

Got to work, and there was a power outage last night, so a bunch of things weren't working. Got the network drives back up. Plus ran some updates on the servers, while I was at it.

Then I remembered I don't get paid to do this.

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Mar 11, 2026

That was WAYYYY too much honey in this tea. I have become one with the universe. I can smell color. I am the Alpha and the Omega. Weeeeeeeee!

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Mar 10, 2026

69 days to my wedding!

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1

0

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Mar 10, 2026

I've had a cold for a week. All that's left is a lingering cough. Speaking of which, I've invented a new health craze that's sweeping the nation, called "Coughing Your Way to Six Pack Abs."

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1

0

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Mar 09, 2026

With the clocks changing in the US, I'm reminded of one of my best jokes. As a straight guy, the best time to have sex is during Daylight Savings Time. Because then you can say you lasted AN HOUR and 5 minutes.

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0

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Mar 07, 2026

#BalerionTheDread is at the vet for his annual checkup. He is outraged at this injustice. Luckily they have this hideout in the bench in the exam room. He's never leaving.

#CatsOfMastodon

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1

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Mar 07, 2026

#MeraxesTheMenacing is doing a big relax. #Dachshund #DogsOfMastodon

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Mar 06, 2026

In 1918, the world was deep in the First World War. In an effort to torture us almost 100 years later, they thrust #DaylightSavingsTime upon us. Because nothing makes our soldiers fight better than not knowing what time it is.

Anyway, on Sunday, this antiquated tradition returns to confuse us. 2 am will magically become 3 am, so we can fight the Central Powers.

In 2026.

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0

1

0

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Mar 02, 2026

I'm stupid. Yesterday, I heard there was going to be a lunar eclipse. I jokingly asked my fiance if she wanted me to wake her up at 3:30 am to see it. Surprisingly, she said yes. So I set my alarm. We woke up at 3:30. We took the dog for a walk. We looked up at the moon. It was a perfect clear night. The moon was bright. But no eclipse. I was confused. I looked it up online. It's tonight, not last night. So yeah, I'm tired.

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Mar 01, 2026

According to #Dachshund law, I have to make the joke about shaving my weenie.

#MeraxesTheMenacing #DogsOfMastodon

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Feb 28, 2026

I must say, this is not what I'd expect from a FIFA Peace Prize recipient.

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Feb 27, 2026

Blah. The city had to cut the power to do a repair, which would have been a perfect time to test my battery backup and automated shutdowns. But I forgot I had it, so I safely shut everything down manually instead.

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Feb 25, 2026

Lulz. I just got an email from #Comcast (that I left a couple of years ago) saying I could upgrade my comcast.net email (that I have never used and didn't realize I had) to a Yahoo email. Because it's 1999.

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0

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Feb 25, 2026

Anyone know how to remove epoxy from a dog's forehead? #MeraxesTheMenacing tried to help last night, and I didn't realize some dripped on him. #DogsOfMastodon

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0

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Feb 23, 2026

There's a new game sweeping the nation, called "Can You Find The Cat?" The rules are simple. I'll show you a picture, and you try to find the cat. #BalerionTheDread #CatsOfMastodon

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0

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Feb 17, 2026

I feel like we should call #AKnightOfTheSevenKingdoms #BodilyFunctionsOfTheSevenKingdoms

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0

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Feb 12, 2026

Pet peeve: Websites that email me to tell me I have a message. But I have to login to the website to view the message. Why not just email me the message? And it's never important. This one was just to let me know that they want me to take a survey. Fuck. You.

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0

1

0

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Feb 11, 2026

I like to think that they keep forgetting the name of the team, and that's why they keep repeating it. There's even more of them now. Some of the animals have even started climbing trees.

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0

1

0

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Feb 11, 2026

I can't tell if I smell weed or hotdogs. Both are likely. #Seattle #Seahawks

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Feb 11, 2026

The #SeattleSportsTeam won an award or something so there's a parade. There are thousands of obnoxious fans yelling "sea" "hawks", but it sounds like "yee" "haa". Also, someone is blowing a horn and they need to get AIDS.

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0

1

0

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Feb 09, 2026

There are fireworks and cheering in #Seattle. I'm guessing the sports team did something.

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Feb 09, 2026

I'm doing some painting. Unfortunately, the plastic covering makes noise. Luckily I live with a mighty hunter to protect me. #BalerionTheDread #CatsOfMastodon

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Feb 02, 2026

Happy Bill Murray Residuals Day, everyone. #GroundhogDay

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The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Jan 30, 2026

Bored kitty is bored. #BalerionTheDread #CatsOfMastodon

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0

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

The Chris Dantes

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza

I'm Chris. I complain. A lot. About everything. I also tell jokes.

social.linux.pizza

@thechrisdantes@social.linux.pizza · Jan 26, 2026

One of my fiance's friends came over and saw my work area and thought we were in the middle of moving. To say that it was chaotic would be an understatement. So I got some shelves and containers. But the biggest project was making a cart for all my scrap wood. I made it out of the scrap wood, so it cost me nothing. It doesn't look great, but it works.

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